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What to do when you’re not your best self

I don’t know if you’ve been there before but sometimes I don’t feel like I’m being my best self.  It’s such a hopeless feeling. How do you go from Superwoman today to a fragile girl tomorrow. And in some cases- we all know how that can change in hours
even. So what do you do when you feel like you’re failing and not being your best self? Here’s what I suggest.

Be honest with yourself

Yeah, cheesy right. The whole hoopla about ‘the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem’ speech but I hate to admit, it’s true. We have a hard time looking square in the mirror and telling ourselves the hard things we need to hear. We like a pitty party sometimes but truly, we’re doing ourselves a disservice when we avoid that interpersonal conversation. Make the time to have that uncomfortable conversation and assess everything that is going on. It helps me to write down what’s bothering me, what I want to change and what I need to make those changes.


If you don’t know anything else about God you should know one thing-  He will always deliver on His promises. And one of his promises it to never leave us or forsake us. What a wonderful thing to know. It helps to find the best method of worship for yourself. I personally don’t like to attend a church I don’t feel comfortable or welcomed in so worship for me happens in the privacy of my home and/ or if I visit a church from time to time. Remember, spirituality is far more important than religion. Find your way, your way.

Throw yourself a pity party … and then get over it

I have a confession. Sometimes, I like being sad. Weird right?

Truth is, I think we all like a little chaos and sometimes that feeling of sadness. You just want to curl up in a corner, skip a shower maybe and just sit alone. Sometimes you need to go through that to get things out of your system but remember to snap out of it. You cannot move forward if you plan to bask in your misery for longer than you need. Learn to move on.

Reflect on what makes you beautiful

Sometimes the easiest way to feel better about feeling bad is by looking back at the accomplishments you’ve made and moments of huge success. We become happier when we use positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement by definition means: ‘the offering of desirable effects or consequences for a behavior with the intention of increasing the chance of that behavior being repeated in the future.’

Simply put – give yourself a treat for being great. Celebrate being yourself or something you are great at. It doesn’t matter how small, take the time to reflect on what makes you unique and what you’ve offered this world thus far. Do it continuously until it keeps you in a good mood. Think of the moments you’ve had when you just couldn’t stop laughing right now. Think of that moment when your friend made you feel loved and appreciated right now. Do it while you’re reading this. You deserve it.

Learn very quickly what you need to change and start working on it

If you’re anything like me you say: ‘oh, I won’t make this mistake again. I really effed up this time and I promise to never do it again.’

2 weeks later …

‘Oh, not again! I won’t make this mistake again. I really, really effed up this time.

Stop procrastinating when it comes to learning from your mistakes. I am speaking to myself to. Work on not repeating the same mistakes over and over again so that you can be someone better because you’ve gotten rid of some baggage.


Turn the music on and put your phone down for a little bit. Break from the world and jam to your own party for a little and open up yourself to happiness and positivity. Give yourself some time to reflect and plan for the future. Give your mind time to think about your goals and dreams. Give your heart time to feel committed to your passion. Do it like no one is watching!


Cay to Style

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